He felt her before he heard her, her hands wrapping around his arm in the crush of people. “My Lord Lannister.” Visenya hissed.
Baelin gave her the quickest little smile and then maneuvered them away from the crowd. Sometimes he felt like he was doing something terribly wrong, as they always met alone. He getting away from his family, and she from her sister and benefactors. Still, he couldn’t deny that he enjoyed the moments they managed to steal together, talking and exploring places together.
They really were fortunate that the first Nameday celebration of the infant princess had been so large an affair. They’d had almost a week together at Dragonstone, before having to go their separate ways again. She’d become a bit more comfortable with him, he liked to think. She’d been speaking some more of her family. She still avoided the topic of her siblings, but had spoken more freely about her parents and the grandmother she’d been named after. Since then, however, they’d only managed to meet for brief moments, a quick greeting at a wedding, or a shared look at an event. He had wondered a bit how she had managed to find so many occasions where they could meet, but he supposed a member of the royal house would not have much difficulty moving in society. This celebration of the King’s continued successful rule would be the first time they had been able to properly talk and share time together for some months.
“How have you been, my Lord?” She asked him, once they could hear each other, away from the scores of people making their way to a tourney.
The young man thought about it for a bit, then decided to reply a little cheekily, “Quite busy, I’m afraid. I have been traveling more often this year than any other in the hopes of meeting a beautiful young woman I met on my nameday.”
She laughed at him. “And have you had any success?”
“I should say so. Now, I will not be satisfied until the young lady consents to join me in taking in the wonders of King’s Landing.” He said, a little emboldened by having learned to make her laugh since the last time they’d spoken.
“So says the young man who required my direction to find me for our meeting today.” Visenya laughingly reprimanded his bold tone.
That brought him to the topic of conversation he had dearly been wanting to bring up. “I would require less direction, if you would not object to corresponding through letters. Princess Silya might understand if you would just allow me to send a request to her. You are not directly involved in House Velaryon. I don’t-“
She pressed her hand against his and squeezed it hard. That caused him to stop and properly look at her, and he saw she was looking at him with something akin to disappointment or melancholy. She shook her head at him. “I do not wish to risk her preventing our meeting.” She said, uneasily, but he had come to learn when she was lying. The longer they spoke, the more Baelin suspected she had been hiding something from him from the beginning, something related to her family.
Frustration coloring his face a little, he found himself raising his voice a little, “If you would just trust that I-” But the look in her eyes was so anxious and sad, that he couldn’t continue to ask her any more. He took a deep breath in, then let it out in a sigh, “Forgive me. I did not mean to upset you.” He resisted the urge to give her a hug, and instead settled for squeezing her hand back, whispering softly to her, “Keep your secrets if you must.”
She shook her head again and smiled, “There is nothing you need beg forgiveness for.” But she did not explain more, freeing his hand and changing the subject. “Now! Have you been to King’s Landing before, my Lord? Is there any place you wish to visit?”
The golden-haired boy sighed softly, but accepted that this topic was over. Visenya seemed to be watching his face carefully and holding her breath, and as many of her expressions did, it made him rather want to hold onto her. Instead, he smiled at her to reassure her all was well and offered his arm to her again. “I have been once or twice, but largely accompanied my family to important functions. This is the first year I have been left to my own devices. I am at the mercy of your knowledge, it seems.”
It didn’t take long for his disappointment to pass, and they spent most of the day in their usual fashion, wandering around exchanging conversation. As the day grew longer, however, his grey-eyed companion seemed to grow more sober and thoughtful, and he found himself thinking for a moment that she might simply disappear if he took his eyes off of her.
When it was time to part, however, she stopped and looked at him properly. “Lord Lannister, I…” She was speaking much more slowly and intentionally than she usually did, and he sensed she’d been composing this particular piece in her head for some time. “I must admit I have not been the most forthcoming with you. I know you are not blind to this, but I apologize, you must allow me to stay silent a bit longer.” She seemed to be losing breath, trying to say the whole thing at once, so she took in a huge breath and hastily added, “But I don’t wish you to think that the time we’ve spent together has been for any reason-” She hesitated and frowned, clearly reconsidering her words, “I really have enjoyed our time together, and always look forward to our next meeting. There’s just… something I can’t tell you. Not yet. Please believe me.”
He shook his head at her, smiling somewhat ruefully. “I do believe you. There is no reason for you to meet with me if you did not want to. Didn’t you say that yourself the first day we met?”
The corner of her mouth quirked up, as she said, “I believe it was the second day we met.” Then, she placed her hands on his shoulders, and got up onto her tiptoes to lean forward and give him just a feather-light kiss on his cheek. She whispered in his ear, “Thank you.” And then she was gone again.
Baelin stared after her in shock. The kiss itself had not been much of a surprise, it had been nothing more than a friendly, perhaps even familial kiss on the cheek, after all. But his reaction to it was quite another thing altogether. He thanked the Maiden that she hadn’t pressed that soft kiss against his lips, because he was quite certain that if she had, he would have tried to claim her right then and there, against the nearest wall. He had known he’d liked her from the first moment he’d spoken to her, and this was not the first time he’d felt desire for a woman, but the violence of the feeling surprised him. He couldn’t stop thinking of how her eyes had sparkled before she’d done it. How warm she’d been, so close to him, and how she always seemed to bring with her the slightest salty scent of the sea. And yet, if she didn’t want him as well, he knew he could not bring himself to even raise a hand to touch her, to risk bringing the slightest tear to her soft grey eyes.
He closed his eyes, trying to banish from his mind the thought of her in his arms, and instead found himself tortured by the thought of her in the arms of another. Opening his eyes again, the young Lannister walked purposefully to his room. If he did not act now, he would not sleep until he saw her again. He rather suspected she would haunt his dreams even if he did.