The Day Before the First Race
Kill her. Kill her. It was hard to say if the dark whispers in her room were coming from outside or were only within Eun-Byul’s head, especially since she was equally hard-pressed to say if she was dreaming or not. The Rat felt frozen in place, more seeming to see her body than be a part of it. What do you have to lose, Eun-Byul? Kill her.
Her spirit or whatever it was that was dispassionately listening to these malevolent whispers seemed to ask, “What for? It’s more trouble than it’s worth. Min-Jee isn’t even the most powerful. Why should I kill her?”
Though the whispers were insubstantial and invisible, she could almost feel it grinning darkly at her response, somehow pleased. Do you want to see what your world will be like if you keep her around you? Whether or not you become zodiacs, she will break you. Do you want to see what kind of misery you will feel? She didn’t have a chance to answer no thanks, before the scene around her changed. She could see the two of them making it to the Jade Emperor’s palace first, smiling at each other, putting on their best manners for the big man upstairs. But as the scene sped through time, Min-Jee became favored among the gods, showered with praise for her open, friendly attitude. Caught up in the excitement, the Cat began to leave her behind, as did the other gods and zodiacs, for people could be fond of the Rat, but no one ever got close enough to love her. No one ever had. Even with the favor of the Jade Emperor as one of his zodiacs, Eun-Byul watched herself grow alone and embittered.
“It’s not guaranteed we will both win.” She heard herself say, calmly. “The future is uncertain.” But the voice just chuckled an echo and the vision switched again. In this one, neither made it across in time, and they stayed in the state they were in. A somewhat disappointed Min-Jee tried to keep them both cheerful, reassuring Eun-Byul that the silly race wasn’t a big deal, and they perhaps just hadn’t had a chance against the stronger demons. Just hearing those words, the Rat could feel the sting of inadequacy and condescension swirling around her head, the disappointed promise of a better life only adding to the inexpressible anger festering in her heart that would only grow and grow. Every outcome was the same. If she alone joined the zodiacs, she would grow to despise the way associating with Min-Jee lowered her status. If Min-Jee alone succeeded, she would resent her for her success as if the Cat was lording it over her. And in every outcome, Eun-Byul saw her hatred grow into madness, and that madness break free in wanton violence. Her killing fellow zodiacs, killing Min-Jee, being defeated, locked away, and used as a horror story. No matter how it went, she always lost.
When this display was done, Eun-Byul was silent for a long moment, a heavy silence that weighed her down. The voice capitalized on this silence. See? The word didn’t just seem to echo slightly, it bounced back and forth in the darkness of what was now most definitely a dream. See? There is no happiness for you while Min-Jee lives. As long as she lives, your future is to end up alone and hated. Forever.
She woke with a start the night before the race. Waking the Cat, the two of them proceeded as they’d planned, tricking the Ox into letting them ride his back across the river. As they sat on his back with Eun-Byul singing softly, she turned to look at Min-Jee. The Cat was sitting there with that cheerful look plastered over her muzzle, and suddenly there was that whisper again. Forever. Forever. She stopped singing, but the whisper continued for her, giving her a chance to move closer to Min-Jee, to talk to her properly, which she did.
For the first time since they’d first interacted and became friends, the Rat’s voice was flat and cold, none of the social pretense she always kept around others. “You’re always smiling, aren’t you, Min-Jee? Just like a fool.” She kept moving forward, backing the Cat towards the end of the Ox. “Have you ever thought about how much of a burden you are? You’re clumsy and stupid. You’ve clung onto me without letting me have any rest. You cause trouble without being able to get away from it, so I’ve always had to save you. You make it so easy for people to love you, that they’ve let you forget. And I’ve let you forget because it was easy. As long as I was with you, others would like me, too. But I’m going to become a zodiac now. I don’t need you. I don’t need to carry your burden with me into the heavens. Will you do me one last favor, Min-Jee? Just be obedient, and die.” She jumped forward and bit one of Min-Jee’s paws, causing the cat to startle backwards and lose her grip, falling into the water. Eun-Byul watched coldly as the Cat splashed in the water a bit, the Ox too distracted with the evil whisper’s song to notice, and she did not stop looking until the Cat’s head sank for good underneath the waves.
~~
Two Weeks Before the Current Race
What have they ever done for you, anyways, Eun-Byul? The humans revile you. The gods look down on you, and the Emperor only cares for you because you won the first Race. They all whisper about what you did to the Cat. Though they face you with smiles, their words are poison against you. This time, the whisper haunting her seemed to have stronger form, for she could see the smile form in smoke in her dream, tendril fingers caressing her shoulders comfortingly. From your birth, no one has ever cared for you. No one has ever loved you. They will take the first chance they have to cast you in the dirt again. The smoke presented her with memories of her childhood, a small, dirty rat scrambling for food being chased from home to home. Humans that tried to kill her, and the other demons that turned their backs on her. The nights where she would look to the sky and pray to an Emperor who did not care, a master who brought no relief unless she fought for it herself.
Take revenge, Eun-Byul. Be the master in the end. The voice swelled and echoed and laughed, the way it had the first time.
Eun-Byul started awake in her bed. Looking around the fine trappings of her room, she saw she was alone in the darkness. A little grin touched her mouth, just the slightest baring of teeth, and she thought she could still hear the echo of that voice’s laughter blowing through her room.