“My Lord! Your favorite cousin has returned.” Jonatan burst into Nikolaus’ study, an action Nikolaus hated and wouldn’t have tolerated from anyone else. Everyone else knew better than to risk his wrath. Nikolaus didn’t respond or even glance up. He didn’t retort, as he occasionally did, that Jonatan was, in fact, his only cousin, and was therefore also his least favorite cousin. He just went on scratching away at a stack of papers on top of his desk, most likely the affairs he hadn’t been able to attend to with the wedding preparations and the dozens of formal congratulation letters he’d had to respond to.
“So, how goes married life, my Lord?” Jonatan asked, plopping his butt down in a big squashy chair that he had hauled here specifically for his use after Nikolaus had started placing dried vines with thorns on the edge of the desk to prevent him from sitting there. He fully expected Nikolaus to ignore him, as he often did, but his pen stopped moving for a moment. Jonatan blinked. “Is something wrong?”
Nikolaus finished his last penstroke, then placed the pen and paper aside and looked up at Jonatan. “What could be wrong, Jonatan?” There he went again, dark violet eyes impossible to read. This was part of what Jonatan found fun about Nikolaus. He was such an imposing man, the sort one would expect to be nothing more than a warrior, all physicality, but actually talking to him was more like a game. He would say only precisely what he wanted to say, the rest was him watching you, reading you, trying to understand not only your secrets, but your very nature. Jonatan considered himself an open book, but with him the point of the game was what Nikolaus could keep from him, because he’d gotten very good at turning it back on his old friend.
Jonatan grinned at him, locking eyes with Nikolaus, even as he lounged back in his chair casually. It had been a long time since Nikolaus’ dark stare could make him cower. “Marriage troubles are common enough.” He said, cheerfully. “Problems with the lady’s demeanor, with her sense of propriety. Problems in bed. Problems she has with you. In what way have you fallen short, my friend?” He joked.
“You appear well-versed in marriage troubles, cousin. I’m wounded.” Nikolaus’ voice was serious, but Jonatan knew him better than to do much more than raise his eyebrows a little in a sardonic question. It was quickly answered. “I should have thought I would be the first person you would turn to the day you secretly eloped simply to upset your venerable mother.” Nikolaus laced his fingers together, waiting for Jonatan’s laughter to subside.
“So? Is there something wrong? You are in a fine enough humor, but-” he waved his fingers at Nikolaus’ face, “you’re twitching about something. Is your wife troubling you?”
Nikolaus shrugged slightly. “My wife is a woman of perfectly acceptable propriety. She has shown ample desire to bear me an heir, and I find no fault in her conduct.”
“But?” Jonatan prompted, suddenly wishing for a flagon of wine. This conversation seemed like it was going to be entertaining.
“She perplexes me more than most.” Nikolaus admitted.
“How so?” His cousin continued to push, enjoying being on the offensive.
Nikolaus didn’t respond right away, but it didn’t seem to be because he was unwilling to talk about it, he seemed more to be formulating his response. “She is… somewhat difficult to describe.” He paused a little longer, then added for example, “She once called me her sea god.” He did not add that at the time, he had had her flat on her back, and she’d been calling him a lot of other strange things, too. It ranged from simply “mine” – a favorite of hers to repeat – to stranger things, like “sea dragon.” Without thinking about it, the other thing slipped out of his mouth as he thought of it, “And she bites me.”
Jonatan laughed again, “Does this displease you?”
“It doesn’t.” Nikolaus said promptly. “She does not displease me in any way, but I did not expect to marry a puzzle.”
Jonatan squinted at him in an exaggerated manner, staring him down a little for effect. “You like that, though.”
“What do you mean?” Nikolaus asked, and Jonatan could tell he was actually a little startled.
“Oh, is that what you’re worried about?” Jonatan asked, catching the crux of the problem. “You’re not certain if you like that she is a puzzle, or if it troubles you. The answer is that you’ve always liked people who confused you slightly. You always expected a wife who would not trouble you, but I like the one you actually married better.” He said with a smile, crossing his arms over his chest. “You can not object to her, because she troubles you only in private ways, but it so happens, that’s precisely the sort of person you enjoy the most.” He grinned at Nikolaus, very satisfied with himself for making that series of deductions.
Nikolaus raised his eyebrows slightly, and then did something rather uncharacteristic for him. He muttered half to himself, “At least I can silence her with a kiss, unlike the other person in my life who is constantly troubling me.” He proceeded to go back to his papers, staunchly ignoring Jonatan after that.